Eminem’s 44th Birthday: 20 of Slim Shady’s Greatest Rhymes of All Time

By Jessica Golich

Although his day to day life remains an enticing mystery, Marshall Mathers’s triumphant story of a Detroit kid who hit the hip-hop lottery by etching his experiences that arose in Metro Detroit trailer parks into history sheds light on being brought up on the block fighting social decay, severe poverty and committing robberies from a heart spittin’ straight honesty. Through tunnel vision on his commendable musical mission, losing himself in his music and never letting his dreams slip away, Eminem has created a legacy that is an entity of its own that either serves as a remedy or ferociously destroys any of his remote enemies emotionally and mentally. Arguably, there is no other hip-hop heavyweight who has reached the level of cultural and lyrical omnipotence through forthrightly sharing his trials and tribulations that sweep through the world in anticipation of rockin’ the headphones of every breed from common folks to troubled boys and girls. Whether you showcased that you were down to ride by bleaching your hair or imaginatively turning up Em’s snare, Marshall recorded five extraordinary albums within six years from 1999 to 2005 that sold nearly 50 million copies and transformed The Motor City into a top hood in the game. Filling stadiums has been a walk in the park for the celestial spark in the dark who has become a magnet for controversy until he retires his jersey. Eminem’s verbal energy and dexterous wordplay led him to being labelled as “The greatest threat to America’s children since polio” by the President who influenced $6.494 trillion dollars in US debt in seven years, George Bush, who also claimed that Em’s soap-opera life mirroring an impoverished childhood in the hood led society to no good. Through it all, Em subliminally makes it clear that it’s all in one ear and out the other and these other cat’s can’t match up to his hunger. Eminem is a monster and malicious force that has paid his dues and engaged in a plethora of feuds. Slim Shady has rightfully earned respect from every single musician in the game and has been diagnosed by society as practically insane. In honor of Marshall Mather’s 44th trip around the sun, we’ve dove head first into his legendary discography to dish out (in no particular order) twenty of his greatest rhymes of all time.

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  1. “You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from. You ain’t gonna sell two copies if you press a double album”

“Just Don’t Give A Fuck”/Album – ‘The Slim Shady LP’ -1997

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  1. “Sniper, waiting on your roof like the Fiddler. Y’all thought I was going to rhyme with Riddler, didn’t ya?”

“Low Down, Dirty”/Album – ‘Slim Shady EP’ – 1997

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18.  “And when the cops came through, me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house. With a can full of gas and a handful of matches, and still weren’t found out”      

“Forgot About Dre” – 2001

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17. “By the way, when you see my dad. Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had”  

“My Name Is”/Album – ‘The Slim Shady LP’ – 1999     

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  1.   “Homophobic? Nah, you’re just heterophobic. Starin’ at my jeans, watchin’ my genitals bulgin’. That’s my motherfuckin’ balls, you’d better let go of ’em. They belong in my scrotum, you’ll never get a hold of ’em”   

“Criminal”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ – 2000

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  1. “Who woulda thought standing’ in this mirror bleachin’ my hair with some peroxide reaching for a t-shirt to wear that I would catapult to the forefront of rap like this?”

“White America”/Album – ‘The Eminem Show’ – 2002

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  1. “It’s been six months and still no word, I don’t deserve it? I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on ’em perfect”

“Stan”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ – 2000

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  1. “But I swear, you try to diss me, I’ll slaughter you. I put that on everything, like everyone does with auto-tune”

“Cold Wind Blows”/Album – ‘Recovery’ – 2010

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  1. “When you’re me, people just want to see if it’s true, if it’s you, what you say in your rap’s, what you do.”

“Soldier”/Album – ‘The Eminem Show’ – 2001

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  1. “There’s never been a greater since the burial of Jesus . Fuck around and catch all the venereal diseases. My thesis will smash a stereo to pieces. My acapella releases classic masterpieces through telekinesis.”

“Infinite”/Album – ‘Infinite’ – 1996

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  1. “So when you find yourself wrapped up in the blinds, hurtin’ cause once you’re hung from the drapes, it’s curtains.”

“Under The Influence”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ – 2000

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  1. “But now it’s elevated, ’cause once you put someone’s kids in it, the shit gets escalated, it ain’t just words no more is it?”

“Like Toy Soldiers”/Album – ‘Encore’ – 2004

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  1. “Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting for the day that they can say I fell off, they’d be celebrating”

“Rap God”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP 2’ – 2013

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  1. “And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me. So I point one back at ’em, but not the index or pinkie or the ring or the thumb, it’s the one you put up when you don’t give a fuck.”

“The Way I Am”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ – 2000

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  1. “So tell Saddam not to bother with making another bomb. ‘Cause I’m crushing the whole world in my palm.”

“Still Don’t Give A Fuck”/Album – ‘The Slim Shady LP’ – 1999

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  1. “These ideas are nightmares to white parents whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings. Like whatever they say has no bearing. It’s so scary in a house that allows no swearing. You see him walking around with his headphones blarin’. Alone in his own zone, cold and he don’t care. He’s a problem child, and what bothers him all comes out when he talks about his fucking dad walking out.”

“Sing For The Moment”/Album – ‘The Eminem Show’ – 2001

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  1. “You beef with me, I’mma even the score equally. Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally”

“Role Model”/Album – ‘The Slim Shady LP’ – 1999

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  1. “School flunky, pill junkie. But look at the accolades, these skills brung me. Full of myself, but still hungry”

“Rap God”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP 2’ – 2013

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  1. “Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor. Quit tryin’ to censor music, this is for your kid’s amusement. But don’t blame me when lil’ Eric jumps off of the terrace. You shoulda been watchin’ him, apparently you ain’t parents.”

“Who Knew”/Album – ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ – 2000

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  1. “My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise. At the same time, make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme. See what you’re seeing is a genius at work, which to me isn’t work, so it’s easy to misinterpret it at first. ‘Cause when I speak, it’s tongue in cheek. I’d gank my fucking teeth’ before I’d ever bite my tongue.  I’d slice my gums, get struck by fucking lightning twice at once and die and come back as Vanilla Ice’s son. And walk around the rest of my life spit on. And kicked and hit with shit every time I sung.”

“My Dad’s Gone Crazy”/Album – ‘The Eminem Show’ – 2002