Written by Jessica Golich
I find integral value in the rich flourishing of human intellectual and artistic aptitude. As a seasoned master of self-preservation, the understanding of self has been a preeminent theme in my life over the past seven years. I have found the endless pre-occupation with one’s own life to be a narcissistic enterprise in which the individual contradictorily encounters bloody tears, deranged melodic laughter, piercing personal confrontation, and critical unexplored capabilities in which greater capacities and expectations arise.
I am presently perplexed by questions sprouting from sacred communion with the intimate truths residing in the gut of my inner life. I rest in the echo of neglect and stare into dirty speckles on the mirror from a self-absorbed place as a defense mechanism which allows my negative ego run ahead of me and self-fulfilling prophecies sabotage building a healthier, supportive colony. I stumble and swoon as I reach for a faraway moon within an uncharted inner galaxy from a state of rhapsody. I am adding salt to my self-inflicted wounds to investigate buried clues and get further in tune while sanding out the grooves. I am connecting with my shadow self and integrating grains of raw truth taking root from deep within my core. I am human.
I am allowing my jagged edges cut and sink into my skin as I develop a clearer understanding of my current mental condition. I am a chamber of reflection and dissection who dives into the complexities of my being with equal parts keen constructive criticism and childlike curiosity. I envision my life as one of perpetual barefaced becoming, and I am removing the bitter encrustations of life experiences while integrating mighty revelations, large-scale maturity and the accumulation of vast wisdom. I bleed my heart and unique apperception into my art and every aspect of life I choose to involve and evolve myself in. I am continuously in a state of flux, and as an artist, I am passionately curious and understand that my thirst is never utterly quenched. I understand that I, myself, am a sea boundless and measureless, and choosing to allow the treasures of my infinite depths unfold like a lotus of countless petals creates a new lease on life resulting from a strengthened sense of life purpose and meaning.
The world is needlessly awash in disingenuous, slack-jawed worship evoked by outer glamour which has brought upon the turbulence of an individual subconsciously allowing themselves to fall for cascading clichés. Although this is my personal opinion of what my internal bullshit detector discerns as falsity, I have arrived at a profound understanding and acceptance that my values can be and are wildly deviating from the next individuals values. You cannot please everyone. Living a life designed to fit everyone else’s expectations will lead to living an impaired and miserable existence. You can jadedly eat up every chunk of self-help that comes across your pixellated screens, but it is considerably ineffective if you don’t know yourself well enough to put the factual suggestions into practice. Essentially, I am a woman who in solitary contemplation enters spellbinding chapels of the interior of the mind, where none but limpid deities may enter.
May you experience the art and importance of the endlessly liberating examination of self.